australiansanta:

h0mosnackuals:

australiansanta:

what if they built a massive drain at the bottom of the ocean. rip fish

ben where would it drain to

like under the sink 

apuarius:

Today my dad told me he was hungry and I looked at him and said “hey hungry I’m daughter” and he was kinda shocked

throwing-lego:

officialunitedstates:

FACT OF THE DAY:  zebras’ stripes are not always black and white.  sometimes they are black and orange

image

this is a giraffe

givemeinternet:

I love this post.

givemeinternet:

I love this post.

suctioning:

Teacher: sit down
Me: drank

rneerkat:

arteries will always hold a special place in my heart

shouldnt:

THE FACT THAT THE AMERICAN PEDIATRIC SOCIETY TOLD AMERICAN SCHOOL SYSTEMS THAT TEENS SHOULD NOT BE UP BEFORE 8:30 AND ONLY 15% OF SCHOOLS LISTENED ANGERS ME SO MUCH

awkwardvagina:

so me and my dad are watching a documentary about a man that killed his children and the presenter turned to the camera and said ‘how could anyone ever think about killing their child’ and my dad sat there looking straight at the tv and said ‘trust me its not difficult’ he then looked at me and sighed

hoemama:

wailtothethief:

Fuck I’m walking downtown and I pass a group of guys staring at me and I think “great catcall time” but then one guy goes “you look like you could kill a man a million different ways with just your bare hands”. This. This is an acceptable comment to give a girl on the street.

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d0nn0:

d0nn0:

Why did jesus change his hair colour?

He dyed for our sins

easterbunnymundlover:

leviisacutelittleshit:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

beggars-opera:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

easy there henry

whos henry what thef uck?

*faint laughter from Britian*

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greathaircut:

love how kids introduce themselves like “hello im johnny im five years old i know how to read” yeah cool i didnt ask for your life story asshole

anfonymackie:

do vampires just use their teeth to make a puncture wound and then suck, or are their fangs like a straw

i havent slept in three days